Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Prompt #3
In chapter 9, Baxter Magolda discusses the importance of learning partnerships and being "good company for others' journeys." Further, she outlines six components of learning partnerships. Reflecting on the components and your role as a learning partner for others (including students, family, and friends), are you a good partner? Which of the components are strengths? Which do you need to work on or are more challenging for you personally?
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In my interpretation, good company represents a nice balance of challenge and support. Using that definition, I would say that I can be good company, but it is something I have to work at sometimes. My immediate reaction is to constantly challenge myself and those around me, which I'm sure can be frustrating. However, as some of you may have noticed, support is not necessarily natural for me. While I can be supportive when I need to be, it is often done through a conscious effort. All in all, as time has gone on in this program, I have noticed that support is coming a little more naturally to me, which is promising.
ReplyDeleteIn terms of the six components, I think I am decent at pushing others to listen to their own voice. I like to talk with a student or peer when they are making a decision and allow them to layout all the pieces of a choice. Then, I enjoy helping the person see that they have all the evidence they need to make the choice, and they can trust their instincts. I also think I am good at pushing students to work interdependently to solve problems. I would never turn a student down if they asked for help in solving an issue, but I do encourage students to work with one another when conflict comes up.
As far as what I find to be difficult right now, I do think I struggle to sometimes support others by affirming their own values and voice. I have a strong personality that makes this difficult for me to do if I’m not thinking about it. Using that reasoning shouldn’t be an excuse for never affirming someone else, but rather a stepping off point to be more aware of it. Also, I don’t think I do the best job of encouraging students to look at the complexities in their lives, and I rarely discourage simplistic choices. This may be a reflection of my own place in my development, as I often seek simple answers to what are probably complex issues.
Becoming more natural at offering support should help me continue to grow and become a good learning partner.
As a learning partner for others, there are some roles I have more opportunities to serve in and others I do not. For instance, I am not yet a parent or employer, so my abilities to serve as an effective learning partner in those capacities likely needs work. However, I do have the opportunity to serve as a learning partner for peers and as an educator to others. Yet, I feel that I am still growing into these roles as well. One of the struggles I currently recognize is that I try to offer advice or inadvertently turn the conversation towards myself when talking with peers. Rather than asking them questions and probing to understand their reasoning, I tend to focus on myself and how my experiences relate to theirs or might be used to give them advice.
ReplyDeleteIn regards to serving as an educator, I think I am also growing into this role currently as I advise student organizations and meet with students regularly. I find it easier to ask questions of them encourage them to explore alternatives or relfect on their experiences.
Unfortunately, I think I have much work to do on serving as a learning partner and being "good company" for others. Part of this may be because I am still self-authoring my own life and find it difficult enough to navigate my own concerns. However, I look forward to sharing my beliefs and values with a life partner or supporting an employee as they develop their own voice. By increasing my awareness about my role as a learning partner, I hope to improve my abilities to help others as they progress through their own self-authorship.
Although Magolda’s six components of a good partnership are a bit vague and up to personal interpretation, I think they’re useful for self-evaluation. As a student affairs professionals, I believe in respecting the values of others, developing opportunities for growth, and working interdependently to make decisions. Thus, my advising style should reflect these values. Just last night, I talked to my student leaders about the skills they’re developing on the executive committee. I also encouraged them to work together and to communicate whenever possible; however, I struggle to “develop their personal authority by listening to their own voice,” because I’m often quick to offer an opinion or suggestion. I react this way because I learned from the opinions and suggestions of others. I like learning from authority figures and appreciate time to analyze different ideas. In true “golden-rule” fashion, I’ve treated my students like I want(ed) to be treated. Unfortunately, this may not be the best approach as a learning partner.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I doubt my suggestions completely impede leadership development, but they may slow authority development. As such, I should look for ways to share authority and encourage individual problem-solving. According to the book I might consider offering “expertise as part of the exploration and [engaging] students in developing reasonable beliefs by evaluating evidence” (p. 276).
Unlike Liz, I probably need to challenge my students a bit more. As long as I am clear about my willingness to offer support, I should not be afraid to add more challenge to their experience.
Magolda refers to “learning partnerships” as “the process of trusting their voices, building internal foundations, and securing internal commitment (p. 252) as well as “good company” requires balancing challenge and support” (p. 250). Thus, Magolda outlined “six components of learning partnership” (p. 251). As a learning partner for others, I have my strengths and challenges in regard to leadership partnerships and good company.
ReplyDeleteIn my role as an Administrator of a Freshmen Seminar (educator), I create opportunities for open dialogue to occur in the majority of my classes. As such, I am very respectful of my students thoughts and feelings as well as affirming their voices. In addition, many of the assignments in Aggie Access are written reflection assignments, which helps my students view their experiences as an opportunity for student learning and development. Furthermore, the design of the curriculum helps reinforce collaborative effort with my students to analyze their problems as well as engage them in mutual learning. Therefore, I believe that my strength is being very supportive and helping my students move toward self-authorship.
However, when it comes to being “good company” (p. 250), I believe this is the area that I might face a few challenges particularly in my role as a partner and peer. On the one hand, in my role as an Administrator of a Freshmen Seminar (educator), I do encourage my students to come to class prepared to participate in group work with their peers, which requires them to share their ideals and expertise as well as their own “internal voice” (p. 251). Additionally, I do encourage my students to reflect on their life decisions, but to think outside of the box. Hence, I have remained professional and have successfully refrained from giving advice to my students or disclosing too much personal information. On the other hand, in my role as a partner and peer, as Sarah mentioned, I have a tendency to turn the focus of the conversation to my own concerns. At times, I need to be silent and do more probing for concerns of others and providing them an opportunity to “cultivate their internal voice” (p. 272). Consequently, I have missed out on moments for bonding and making deeper connections.
Overall, I would venture to say, that I am for the most part a good partner, but I am still a work in progress. My challenge to myself is to do less talking and focus on listening to others. As a result, I hope to develop more meaningful connections with my partner and my peers.
-Shonda
Sarah,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your post because I can relate to some aspects that you shared. I have realized that I also refer back to my own experiences when giving advice to peers, or I turn the focus of a conversation on my own concerns when I need to be silent and listening. I agree with your statement about increasing our role as a learning partner in order to help others.
-Shonda
Sarah,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your post. I enjoyed reading what you wrote, and find that I, too, struggle with turning coversations back to myself. I know that neither of us do this out of selfishness, but at the same time, sometimes we just can't help it. Using our experiences to relate to others probably isn't a bad thing, but maybe there is a way to use the experience without making it all about "me."
I completely agree with having work left to do, and I think some of it, as you said, has to do with where each of us is developmentally. Baxter Magolda had a sample of peole ranging well past our ages of 23 and 24, so I think there is still hope for us!
Thanks again
Liz
When evaluating my relationship with my students, family, and friends. I believe I could be described as a different learning partner in each of these groups as my strengths and weaknesses vary in relation to the components that Baxter Magolda describes. I have always believed myself to be a confidant and a supportive listening ear for others. I recognize that while listening is important, I struggle with the feedback component in either of these partnerships.
ReplyDeleteI have learned to appreciate others perspective and their voices. The component of respecting thoughts and feelings is a strength of mine in relation to my partnerships with students, family, and friends. With students specifically I believe I can help them sort through experiences to help them see their opportunities for learning and growth. In working with the student organization I advise, I use the concept of challenge and support with the executive team. I also work with my students in relation to solving problems. I have utilized my advisor position as a mediator with several of their conflicts. With my friends and peers I believe we effectively work together to solve mutual issues that arise. I am learning appropriate ways to approach mutual issues with my students as we often struggle with differing ideals and goals for projects. I find that facilitating the students’ needs now, override my own issues.
With my family, I am not as apt to assist with problems outside of my involvement. As I am growing into an adult within my family, some of issues I am presented with create an internal struggle. My feelings are that I am not comfortable or in the position to provide a strong opinion or to encourage learning and growth. In terms of complex work and life challenges and developing personal authority, I myself am personally challenged and therefore I feel as though I should not give advice or assistance in this area to either students, family, or friends. I am still in need of gaining others assistance on this topic.
I myself bring a unique perspective to various groups which hopefully assists others with some of the components listed above. My strength lies mainly with student relationships as my recent focus has been on understanding that group’s development and needs. When looking at relationships beyond the higher education spectrum, I think that the learning partnership is not as developed as I can be perceived as speaking out of the character from which others are developed or used to me speaking up.
Andie
Brooke-
ReplyDeleteI completely understand with where you're at with your student organization. I also feel that I don't always challenge my students enough and tend to offer suggestions or solutions too soon without challenging them to find the answer on their own. However, I also think that depending on where the student organization is developmentally (infancy to adulthood) they might need more suggestions.
I'm also hoping to move my focus next semester towards the students individually, as most of the time is spent focusing on the organization. I would like to focus more on how to challenge these students individually and serve as a good learning partner for personal struggles they're going through. Oh, and there I've done it again, changed the focus from your story to mine-still learning to how to be a good learning partner for peers I guess!! I appreciated your reflection though and feel like I'm in a similar place with my student organization as well.
Andie,
ReplyDeleteI think (and hope) it's normal to have a different "learning partnership" when you're working with different groups of people (work vs. personal). As a matter of fact, I think it's best to cater your style to your audience. I think it's important to show that you're considering the different needs of a group because it shows thoughtfulness and individualized sensitivity.
In addition, "teaching" is probably not our primary role with groups of friends or family -- so there certainly can be an interesting role-shift when we attempt to grow and develop those who are not accustomed to it. I think it's something that has to come naturally (and likely will with time) as we grow up ourselves.
I agree that you're a great listener, and appreciate the way you work in a group!
I think about learning partnerships in the same light as I think about learning from others within daily interactions. It’s important because it’s within these interactions that we begin to take closer looks at our beliefs and values, which helps us self author. The support and challenge that comes from healthy interactions or learning partnerships encourage “good company.” I think being good company is more than just the interaction but the intentionality behind it. For example, I interact with my students and RAs everyday but when we converse and I get to know what they are into or what struggles they are combating, I can be intentional about our interactions, thus better apt to be good company on their journey.
ReplyDeleteGenerally, I would call myself a good partner, because I genuinely am interested in seeing others flourish and helping others get to their “aha moment.” I think my restorative and empathy come highly into play when being good company for learning partnerships. However, I think I jump in too fast many times when helping others along in their journey; meaning I do not know how to give enough time for others to come to their own conclusions at first. I sometimes think I know what they are experiencing and how to help them without getting a complete story.
For example, when my brother was younger, he struggled in school and I thought he did not like school because he found the school work uninteresting. Therefore I tried to find ways to help him find learning fun, but he still struggled. What I did not do was give enough time for his story to develop therefore I was not finding what the root of his struggle was. As the story developed, it was not the school work but the classroom environment that he struggled with and that eventually led us to switching schools. The point is that I think I need to work on sitting back longer before jumping in eagerly to help someone in their journey.
Andie,
ReplyDeleteI agree with Brooke and I too see how different learning partnerships exist between different groups. Specifically with regards to family, I think it is a unique situation to navigate and is different for everyone. However, not only do I think different partnerships can occur in different groups, but also with different people and I feel that family is a great example of how those different relationships occur.
I enjoyed reading your post and agree that you work well in navigating situations within groups to come up with a solution.
- Sarah W.
In considering the six components of learning partnerships described by Baxter Magolda (2009) I find that I am still working to become a well-balanced supporter. It seems that the theme which emerges from each of the components is one of respect and encouragement. Personally, as I was reading through the components I thought about who has served and serves as a learning partner in my life and what I have learned from each of those individuals. Specifically, I thought about an experience with my advisor from undergraduate and how there were times when all I needed from her was the solution to the problem, but other times I needed someone to listen and help me process through a particular situation. In both instances, she would not give me the answer, but instead challenge me to make the decision for myself. That is one aspect that I have come to appreciate and believe that I am continually working to accomplish. I feel that I have improved on my ability to simply listen and realize that I do not have to provide the answer.
ReplyDeleteMost people who know me well know that I am a deliberative person, it ranks number seven on my strengths and while I do see it as a strength, I also realize that not everyone needs to process in the way I do before making a decision. Because of my deliberative tendencies, I believe that the amount of challenge and support I give to students, family, and friends is somewhat different. However, one of the components I am still challenged by is managing relationships with superiors and asking challenging questions to those in superiority to me. With students I am learning how important it is to help students come to their own decisions and sometimes struggle with discouraging the simplistic solutions that Baxter Magolda (2009) discussed. I am also a direct person and thus figuring out to approach situations of challenging and supporting students, family, and friends can be difficult to navigate.
I have been surprised by my ability to help students and friends draw conclusions from both successful and unsuccessful events. I think my own experience has taught me how important it is to allow those realizations to come naturally and while this is an area that a few months ago I would have assumed I struggled with, now it is a skill I hope to continue to improve. I have realized that sometimes I simply plant the seed and that growth happens over time. This seems obvious, but sometimes it is easier said that known. I also believe that I am able to respect others thoughts and feelings. I do not have to agree with everyone on everything, but I can respect the choice someone makes and I think I do a good job of articulating that in my conversations and actions with students, family, and friends.
Overall, I believe that being a “good” learning partner is something that develops overtime and the components I am challenged by can only be strengthened as time continues. I think that every situation and every relationship presents different obstacles and successes, but the most successful relationships come from those where both partners are providing equal challenge and support.
- Sarah W.
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ReplyDeleteSarah J,
ReplyDeleteI tend to talk about my own experiences when talking with others about theirs, but I feel that sometimes it is necessary because we all generally experience the same things although differently. To understand others I may have to put it in my own context and I think that's okay so long as I don't dominate their experience.
I also agree that I am in the middle of self authoring my own life and that could be a reason I find it difficult at times to help others navigate…and I think that is also the importance of mentorships at all levels.
Howdy Sarah J,
ReplyDeleteI think it is interesting that you mention anticipated learning partner roles such as being a parent, employer, etc. I think in developing my partnerships with others, I am focused on the now and current versus the anticipated roles I will be placed in the future. I think that whether our roles or current or past, it is important to continuously develop them as you mention. I currently struggle with certain professional relationships on the grounds that I am focused on myself and my needs. I think that to improve those relationships I must do a better job and understanding others positions and needs and not solely focus on mine.
In my opinion, I consider you good company! I think it is hard to share insight with others when you yourself are set-authoring your life. This is a concept that I am also struggling with. I know that as we continue to develop in our personal and professional lives we will soon be able to share insight with others.
Thanks for sharing!
Andie
There have been great companies in my life to help me develop, but I don’t think I am a very encouraging partner to others, especially those who are very close to me.
ReplyDeleteThe problem is that I tend to do something for others instead of encouraging them to develop self-authorship. I was sharing one of the extreme examples with Brooke the other day. My boyfriend Qibo (sounds like “chi-bo”) needs to take an important English proficiency exam this Saturday, but he is having a hard time in dealing with the writing section. In the beginning, I did stick to “the six components” to encourage him attend workshops and go to writing center for professional assistance. Though I’ve repeated the same words for thousands of times, he did not go because of his reluctance to receive help from others. Then, I lost my patience and had to watch him getting the negative outcomes. Hearing the story, Brooke told me that, “there’s nothing more you can do.” Yes… I totally understand this… but I just cannot help stopping my families and friends doing silly things…
It proved that I need to work really hard on respecting others’ “thoughts and feelings, thus affirming the value of their voices.” For me, I am motivated by competition; for Qibo, he’s motivated by constant encouragement while competition might even make him give up on the final goal. He’s just one person, so what if there are a large number of students in my class? Is my best performance being pedaling? Even not offering a hint of direction? Oh... Gosh… I need to keep in mind that the correct direction to me might not be the right one for others, and they need to be the ones who make decisions for themselves. So, I am going to go ahead telling one of my best friends, who has been a “drifter” after our graduation, that “I am not going to be the one who can tell you what to do; you are.”
Sarah W.-
ReplyDeleteYes, you have been great at helping me analyzing pro and cons in hard situations. And I believe that your students and friends will be benefited a lot from your strengths.
Also, I learned from your prompt that having role models who have helped us is a good strategy to improve my personal ability of being a learning partner. The teachers and friends I had before never told me what I should do, but how would they deal with the same issue and how it is different because of my personal situation.
Thanks for sharing! Your comments are always helpful to me! :)
While reading this chapter I started to think about how I am a good partner in different ways to different groups of people. I think with the students that I supervise I encourage them to discover who they are and what makes them happy, which guides them towards self authorship. I believe as a student affairs practitioner one of the greatest benefits of the job is to develop a relationship with our students where they feel comfortable with discussing their future with us. I think another component of the process of encouraging students to listen to their own voices is to process their experiences and what they learned from them and how they grew.
ReplyDeleteI do think it is hard for me at times to have a conversation with students where they express their thoughts or feelings and try to rely on them to make decisions. I think more logistically than emotionally, so it is hard at times to understand where a student is coming from.
Overall, I feel like I am a good partner both in and out of the professional setting, but I also think that it is an ever evolving process in which I will continually grow.
Andie,
ReplyDeleteI think it is great that you are able to identify your strengths when assisting your students. I also think it is important that you see your limitations with your family. I think the older we get the more we are pulled into our family issues, and it can be a weird position to be in. I have no doubt that as time passes you will be able to transfer your skills that you use with your students to the partnerships with your family members as well.
I agree with Sarah on her perceptive of having the capacity to be a good partner, but not having that role assigned to me. Yet, those in which I am serving as learning partner for others, I think I do an decent job. By maintaining a small base of friends and family, I am able to serve in this role more effectively, as the role I have in higher education includes more people.
ReplyDeleteI think my strengths include the three components to supporting the development of self-authorship. Respect as an foundational principles that I lay within my professional approaches. When working with my hall, I let student know that I respect them as young adults. In both years as a Hall Director, this always let them know that I will listen to them (opposed to parents) and plan to treat them as such. As a student organization advisor, supervisor, sister, daughter, and best friend, I try to help those within these roles see how their current situation has provided experiences for the future. Lastly, this has been helpful to those people in the job and graduate school search in trying to key into their transferable skills into new areas. Per strength quest, I love to analyzing problems, so collaborating with others to do so is always a great learning experience for all parties. As a life partner, my boyfriend and I work well on mutually analyzing on a problem or issue we have jointly or separately which helps gives different perceptive to consider for the best approach possible.
Conversely, I lack helping strengthen others internal voice of self-authorship I want to work on these three factors so that I am about to provide a balance of support and challenge within my approach of being a good partner. I am learning each day that being a good partner requires much, but the ability to be a active part to transforming someone else life is truly a gift. I challenge myself integrate the last three components within my service to those I love and mankind so I can continue to observe growth and development in others.
Aisha,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. I love reading your prompts because you say things so concise and you add substance regarding any subject that you discuss in your prompts. You have a natural ability to connect with others, and I believe when you said the following "good company is more than just the interaction but the intentionality behind it" sums good company up perfectly. More importantly, I love how you problematize areas of your life that cause you to explore and ask questions. You truly inspire me...
Thanks for sharing,
-Shonda
When reviewing the learning components, I can easily recognize that collaborating to solve problems is a strength of mine. I am often the one in group settings to play devil's advocate and weigh the different obstacles that may present themselves in the decision making process. I also think that this strength is why I thrive in crisis response situations. I have the ability to think quickly on my feet and make tough decisions fast.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I do believe that a weakness of mine is developing personal authority. Personally, I have had a lot of life changes in the last couple of years and finding my inner voice has been harder than I thought. It is also discouraging to think that it could be years before I complete this transformation. I think I know the kind of person that I want to become and right now I'm enduring the personal hardships that it takes to get there.
I think that I am adaptable in learning partnership roles. I tend to take on the role that people need me to be. I think this also is a reason that I am having difficulty developing authorship. How can one become the person they need to when they are always being what everyone else needs them to be. These are the things that I am trying to overcome. Reflecting on these issues creates a responsibility to change if you know that change is needed. Know better, do better.
Brandi,
ReplyDeleteYou and several others mentioned how you are good partners in different ways to different people. I think most of us are and that is required in the many roles we play (students, advisors, supervisors, etc.). I can also see how you are very logistical and have a hard time with the emotions of students. However, I have seen a change (from last year to this year) in how you deal with those you supervise and work with. As long as you keep working on these areas, I know you can improve in them to become a better professional.
Tamara
Xiaodan-
ReplyDeleteIts always very insightful to read your posts. Funny, I had the same situation with my boyfriend this week after he left College Station. I told him about popping up on a college campus for law school visits without making solid arrangements with a advisor. He wrote me off. He called last night to tell me one of his top schools was not able to make his recent request and rescheduled for January. I just said "well, at least you have them scheduled for the first of the year!" Allowing people to fail is hard, but I am a firm believer some people need to do things their way -fail- to grown. To stop peddling is hard because they have to learn to do it themselves, but they also need to know they have the capacity to move the bike by themselves. At least, that is my outlook on life...
Over the years I felt that I have been able to develop some skills when it comes to being a problem solver and also a great listener when working with people. As a graduate assistant I feel like I have continued to carry those skills. Along the way though, my skills have slowly morphed. A lot of this has to do with the support that I personally need.
ReplyDeleteAs a staff member and more specifically as a graduate assistant, I feel like I have needed more personal support than I have been able to provide to other fellow staff. It almost seems like I am internally focused, as opposed to being a better learning partner. Although I do feel like I have been able to work on this with my supervisor, as we constantly challenge ourselves with the social issues that exist in the campus community. Our learning partnership keeps us not only informed but sane in the profession. The discourse of issues is important in being able to support our students.
As an advisor I have been able to be a problem solver, listener, and supporter. With these characteristics I have been able to balance the type of advice that I give my student leaders. It is easy for me to provide solutions and ideas to my students, whether it is for their meetings or planning an event. But it has been hard to not disclose as much information in order to let them grown and learn in their leadership. I think as long as one has a student’s development in mind, it will be easier to support and challenge a student. Being a listener is often important for me because my students outside of their leadership role will have cultural issues to conquer, whether it is hate speech or transitioning to A&M. This entails me to actively immerse myself into what they are telling me, because as a student I may encounter some of the same issues so it is hard for me to not disclose some of the feelings I may have. Like I said making sure I have the student’s interest in mind, is best, because then I can better support them.
Some of these roles are hard to manage, but it is important that we acknowledge some of our strengths and weaknesses to better promoters of learning partnerships. Over time I feel that these roles will come easier for us as we become seasoned professionals.
Hey Sarah W.!
ReplyDeleteLike you, I had an advisor that often "never gave me the answer," I hated it. :) At the same time I very much appreciated it, because that approach allowed me to learn as a student. I have to say that I aspire to be like my undergraduate advisor. She was able to challenge me in ways that no other person could, but at the same time, she had my best interests in mind and never forgot to ask me how I was doing personally. There is a lot of intentionality behind being a student affairs professional and it is also hard because you serve many roles. Making sure that we always take the time to realize why we do the things we do is important to be better advocates for student development and essentially better partners in all of our capacities.
Of the six components of learning partnerships, I feel as though helping others view their experiences as opportunities for learning and growth is my strength. Whether I am with my students, colleagues, or my family, when someone has gone through a difficult time or faced challenges, I tend to be the person saying “what did you learn from it?” Part of this is to take away a lesson for myself, but it is also so that they can feel more positively about an experience that could be perceived negatively.
ReplyDeleteA weakness that I have is respecting the thoughts and feelings of others. I tend to think that my thoughts and feelings are more legitimate than others, and as such do not always notice how others are feeling. Also, in supporting others, I tend to give a lot of advice instead of encouraging them to listen to their own inner voice. However, this is something that I am aware of and have been working to change.
Upon reflection, I could be a better learning partner for others. I feel as though I am good at challenging others, such as my students and my family, but I am not as good at supporting them. Because I am never sure how to offer support, I think I come across as awkward when I try to offer it. After time and practice, I think that I can learn to be a better learning partner.
Cruz,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I agree that you are an amazing listener! It's one of my favorite things about you, and I wish that I had that skill!
That being said, I agree with what you said about these roles becoming easier as we become more seasoned professionals. I think sometimes we expect ourselves to know how to do and be everything (as advisor, friend, educator, etc.)right now, which is unreasonable. But as you said it is important to acknowledge both our strengths and weaknesses!
Melissa